Staying in… and coming out

#NBFolks Twitter Chat Sunday 27-09-13 20-00 BST (1)

Topic for 27th September 2015: Staying in… and coming out.

8pm BST, Sunday, using #NBFolks Twitter hashtag. 😀

You’ve come out once at least, nonbinary friends – to yourself. Even if you’re not 100% certain what label (or labels), if any at all, is or are quite right for you, you’ve figured out one important thing and, hopefully, internalised it. You’re nonbinary in some way. Awesome!

Now the hard part… Telling everyone else.

Some of us are lucky to have really supportive friends, work colleagues, or family (jackpot if you hit all three). Some aren’t so lucky. And for some, it’s downright unsafe to be themself.

This week’s topic is coming out – or staying in: we’ll discuss safety, practicality, maybe even morality and if Lex gets lucky, a little bit of philosophy.

One thing to bear in mind, perhaps more so in this chat than our usual weekly get togethers, is that what you post on Twitter is public. If you’re in the unfortunate situation that being out may be unsafe, please, please think before you write. You can contact chat mod Lex via email or DM any time if you’d like to talk privately.

Here’s this week’s discussion topics. As always, they’re really just there to get you thinking – we’ll cover thus and much more on Sunday…

Q1a) If you’ve come out to at least one other person, how did it go?

Q1b) If you haven’t, do you have a plan for how to do it?

Q2a) If you’ve come out, what was the best experience you’ve had?

Q2b) Whether you have or not, have you thought about how to keep yourself safe and sane when you do? Share any advice!

Q3) Trigger warn if you feel it’s necessary: What was your worst coming-out experience?

Q4) Do you have any advice or suggestions on how we can help ourselves, eg by helping others understand nb genders, etc?

What’s #NBFolks all about then?

#NBFolks started on September 6th 2015. It’s a regular Twitter chat which runs for an hour from 8pm BST every Sunday evening.

Discussion topics are posted weekly, but they’re really no more than jumping-off points; participants are encouraged to chat around the topics and flit away into related conversations of their own. There are really only two rules: be respectful, and use the #NBFolks hashtag in all of your tweets throughout the chat. Oh, and you ought to identify as nonbinary in some way. Though Twitter is a public medium, the chat hour is intended – insofar as it can be – to be a safe place for nonbinary individuals to meet, engage and discuss issues which effect us.

Quick how-to:

  • Just show up and join in! Tag your tweets with #NBFolks so we can all see them.
  • Don’t panic if you lose track of the chat. Your notifications are a useful place to see who’s talking to you. It’s okay to just have a couple of conversations going within the chat going on around you.
  • Tweetdeck is a huge, huge help in this sort of endeavour. It’s recommended that you set up a column with the search term #NBFolks and put your ‘@’ column (where people have mentioned you by Twitter-name) and Notifications (which tells you when your posts have been favourited or retweeted) alongside.
  • Use ‘Reply to this tweet’ to respond to a specific comment. Don’t forget to add the #NBFolks tag.
  • Show your appreciation or agreement with favourites, quotes, RTs and replies. Don’t be afraid to add your thoughts to the conversation.
  • On that note… absolutely no nastiness. It’s okay to disagree but attacking an individual will not be tolerated.
  • Twitter is a public medium. Please don’t feel obliged to say anything that could put you in any danger or which makes you uncomfortable.
  • Tweet @lexberju if you have any problems and they’ll do their best to help.
  • Answer questions with A1, A2 etc.
  • Have fun!

Your regular host is Lex but don’t think of them as an admin; they’re more of a moderator and helper. Lex is a transmasculine agender individual with a full-time job, but will always do their absolute utmost to be there if you need to get in touch. Twitter is best, or you can email

Header image source for this post